Counter Attack

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the death of my son, Byron.  Expecting it to be a difficult day the family had made plans for the evening to all get together at my daughter’s home and eat some of Byron’s favorite foods such as wings and Magnum ice cream bars. 

The night before I went to bed praising God. I made the decision to praise God all day yesterday no matter what.  I know from the Bible and I know from tons of personal experience that God truly does inhabit the praises of His people.  I also know beyond any doubt that Satan has to flee when God’s people praise Him.  So not knowing how hard and difficult yesterday would be, I made the choice to praise God through song and prayer and spoken words through out the day.  And the one year anniversary day turned out to be a good day filled with bittersweet memories, family time and laughter, and new memories made. 

As my husband and I sat in a coffee shop we started talking about how the day was going.  I told him what my plan had been and then got to think that maybe this is the way God wants us to treat every day of our life.  Maybe this is what putting the armor of God on is all about.  Entering the day, expecting Satan to do all he can to cause our downfall, and counter attacking with praises for our Lord and King. 

I have to admit I have never truly understood what putting the armor of God on means for me, and maybe God is teaching me this firsthand.  Something to ponder… 

Reconnect

Yesterday was just one of the tough days in life.  Not the “tough” that everything goes wrong and nothing goes right, but just a few things don’t go as expected and you become down.  I know my “up” meter is below average anyway as the one year anniversary of my son, Byron’s, death approaches next week.  So it is during times like this I remember to look for the good in each day expecting the hard times to be present. 

Two days ago Byron’s best friend, Pete, responded to a text of mine.  This was the first time we had heard from Pete in almost a year.  Over the last year I have randomly sent Pete texts and called him and left voice mails just to see how he is doing but with no response.  Since we are coming up on the anniversary date I thought Pete might be struggling as we are, so I sent him a text to tell him we were thinking of him. 

He responded and apologized for “disappearing” and asked for forgiveness.  As I responded to him, if there is one thing I have learned on this journey of grief, that is that no two people grieve the same way and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Just as we are as individual as snow flakes are individual, so is our grieving unique.  Therefore there is nothing to forgive.  It was just great hearing from him again after all these months. 

So why should I let a 3 hour wait at 2 different Departments of Motor Vehicle and a defective SIM card for my new phone and no phone service for a week overshadow reconnecting with Byron’s best friend?  I should not.  

What was my divorce date...?

Why is it I can remember my 1^st marriage anniversary with no problem but can not remember my divorce anniversary?  In two days I have to answer interview questions to apply for my retirement and one of the questions is the date of my divorce.  For the life of me I can not remember the day, the date, the month or even the year.  Now I have to go dig out that divorce decree.  Have to remember where I filed that little hummer…?  Granted it was some 30 years ago but I have no problem remembering my wedding anniversary which was 42 years ago.  Maybe it is my way of remembering the good and forgetting the bad…..